In Memory Of Shalanda

It's been a little more than 13 years (13 years and 5 days to be exact) since I last saw Shalanda. Not because I didn't want to see her again; more so because that's how life played out. I spent the summer having fun in the city then headed down to Baltimore to start life as a college student. She spent the summer in the city as well, then went back to continuing her life as a college student down in Virginia. The next time I had even thought about asking about her, she had been dead for three years; victim of a car accident on I-95. Gone too soon.

This is just one of many events in my life that have reminded me that life is short. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, which is why I live my life to the fullest every chance I get. I have lived by the "no regrets, no apologies" motto for a while now with the idea that if I don't wake up tomorrow, I know that I have lived a hell of a life. At the same time, every day I wake up, be thankful and make the most of it.

Shalanda's closest friends created a facebook group in her memory and today, we received a message reminding us that today is the day that her parents set aside to honor her memory. We were all asked to something special as a tribute to her and I'm asking all of you to go out and do one of the following as a tribute to someone in your life who you lost way too soon:

*****Post a story about someone close to you that you've lost

*****Release a ballon into the air

*****Buy a white or yellow rose and give it to someone you care about

*****Plant a flower

*****Call a relative of someone you've lost and let them know that you still think about them.

*****Mentor a child

*****Call or e-mail someone you haven't spoken to in awhile

*****Post your favorite inspirational quote

*****Do something crazy

If you decide to participate, I'd love to know about it. I thank you in advance, as does Shalanda and those who's memory you keep alive.

I Wanna Kiss You Girl

If you are reading this and still thinks a kiss is just a kiss, you ain't been kissed yet. At least, not by the right person, or at the right time, or in the right situation. For those of us out there who have kissed in the rain and not cared about getting wet; those of us who have had our knees buckle because of a simple touch of the lips from someone else; those of us who have forgotten where we were and who was around us, we know better. A kiss is far more than just a kiss.

A kiss can say what words cannot. It can envoke emotions or make them go away. It can end arguments. It can make a sad person happy and make a horny person go absolutely out of their mind. Whether its the first time you kiss a person or the last, each kiss you have with someone means something and gives a memory that will last forever.

Can you remember your first kiss? The first time someone made your knees buckle? Your most memorable kiss? The best kisser you know? The worse kisser you know? Of course you can. Kisses do that to you. If you can't, you've been kissing the wrong people.

TMI Tuesday: June 23, 2009

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?

I have done it before. That would describe my entire two year situation with "Ay Papi". The sex was amazing, but there was no emotional bonding or growth. If the opportunity presented itself again, I'd get out once there were signs that there was no love and all lust.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?

Love that lasts forever.

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?

If I could do it again, I would have married "Charlotte". If that had happened, I wouldn't have had to deal with "Guyana".

4. if you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?

That's a tough one. Of the women I've been with, there are two that stand out. At the same time, there are two women that I haven't been with (yet) that I would love to give it to as well. At the same time, if this was going to be the last time, I would use it on a sure thing. I would go with "KC Masterpiece"

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)

Happiness

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday:

1. You talked a really good game, but when it came down to backing up your words you ran like a coward.

2. We all knew why I left. The fifth wheel gets stuck in the trunk.

3. The invitation clearly said "All White Affair". Now I understand you may not feel comfortable wearing all white, but to come in with no white on at all is almost disrespectful.

4. If you don't get a plus one, don't bring a plus one.

5. I'd understand if you were paying for it, but its free, so stop complaining.

6. Why is it that you think you're doing me a favor when you are actually trying to make me a hostage.

7. I'd understand if it was just a courtesy call, but you know what I was calling about. The least you could do is call me back.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: Essence Magazine

I didn't really have my usual list of weekly vents ready and was going to skip it today until I woke up and checked my e-mail. "Blog Crush II" sent me an e-mail that she received from Essence Magazine. They listed their top 25 Slow Jams of All-Time. Knowing that I love music the way I do, she thought I'd find it interesting. As soon as I saw the #1 song, I knew I wasn't going to agree with the list (not that i didn't like the #1 song, I just didn't think it was #1 worthy). Anyway, since I have nothing else to day, I'll present to you, my top 25 Slow Jams of All-Time

1. "Ready Or Not" - After 7 (didn't even make the Essence Top 25)

2. "Love TKO" - Teddy Pendergrass (didn't even make the Essence Top 25)

3. "You Put A Move On My Heart" - Tamia (#19 on the Essence Top 25)

4. "Beauty" - Dru Hill (didn't even make the Essence Top 25)

5. "Adore" - Prince (#11 on the Essence Top 25)

6. "Insatiable" - Prince (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

7. "Moments In Love" - Art Of Noise (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

8. "Cause I Love You" - Lenny Williams (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

9. "Do Me, Baby" - Me'lissa Morgan (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

10. "Love Train" - Confunktion (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

11. "Sexual Healing" - Marvin Gaye (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

12. "Touched A Dream" - R. Kelly (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

13. "You" - Jessie Powell (#20 on the Essense Top 25)

14. "Fire & Desire" - Rick James & Teena Marie (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

15. "Whip Appeal" - Babyface (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

16. "Piano In The Dark" - Brenda Russell (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

17. "Let's Get It On" - Marvin Gaye (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

18. "Between The Sheet" - The Isley Brothers (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

19. "Two Occasions" - The Deele (didn't make the Essence Top 25)

20. "Sweet Love" - Anita Baker (#13 on the Essense Top 25)

21. "For The Lover In You" - Shalamar (#5 on the Essense Top 25)

22. "Slow Jam" - Midnight Star (#1 on the Essense Top 25)

23. "You Give Good Love" - Whitney Houston (#12 on the Essence Top 25)

24. "Kiss And Say Goodbye" - The Manhattans (not on the Essence Top 25)

25. "Stairway To Heaven" - The O'Jay's (#4 on the Essence Top 25)

I'm sure you looked at my list and didn't see your favorite slow jam, so feel free to tell me what it is in the comment section.

TMI Tuesday: Have You Ever Edition

Have you ever . . .

1. had sex with someone ten years older or younger than you?

No. Came extremely close, but I guess that only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

2. drawn from a nude model or been a nude model?

Nope. Much like strip clubs, that whole look, but don't touch thing doesn't do it for me.

3. had sex at a company Christmas party?

Nope. In 7 years, I've only gone to two, and didn't get lucky at either of them.

4. had a blind date?

Yes, and after the last one, I'd be very careful before doing it again.

>5. slept with a teacher?

Yes. Of course she wasn't my teacher, but she is a teacher.

Bonus (as in optional): had sex with someone within an hour of meeting them?

In person, yes, but we had been chatting on line for a few hours before meeting.

TMI Tuesday - 6/2/09

1. What was the last movie you saw on a date?

"The Soloist"

2. What was the last meal you had on a date?

Salmon New Orleans from Cabana

3. When was the last time you made out in the car on a date? More?

Sometime last year.

4. Using a dating websites do you think you are more likely to find a "hook up" or a relationship?

A hook up

5. Do you have any special "first" date rituals? Flowers, certain restaurant, ect.

If I did, I wouldn't share them here. Can't share everything.

BONUS QUESTION: Do you believe in sex on the first date? Can a relationship bloom if you have sex on the first date?

If it happens, it happens, but I don't expect it, and wouldn't want it if I thought there was potential for a relationship. Some things are worth waiting for.