Wedding Highlights

I have accepted the fact that there will not be a wedding that goes off as planned. Each one has their own quirks that make the day even more memorable than ever. The wedding I went to yesterday, was no exception. Below, you'll find my observations from yesterdays festivities.:

1. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING AN USHER
The wedding was at the church, but not in the sanctuary. Instead it was in the chapel, which is off in a hard to reach area of the church. If 90% of the people you invite aren't members of the church you might want to invest in someone who can lead the guests in the right direction

2. MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS PICKED UP PRIOR TO THE REHEARSAL DINNER
The last thing you want to do on the day of your weding is to have to worry about picking up your wedding dress.

3. MAKE SURE SOMEBODY KNOWS WHAT TIME YOU REALLY WANT TO START THE WEDDING
This has nothing to do with the bride being fashionably late. The invitation said the wedding would start at 4:30pm. The programs said the wedding would start at 5pm. Even the wedding coordinators didn't know which was the right time.

4. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING FASHIONABLY LATE AND BEING ON C.P. TIME
Regardless of whether the wedding was supposed to start at 4:30pm or 5pm, showing up at 5:45 is not a good look

5. START THE WEDDING BEFORE THE TIME THAT THE RECEPTION IS SUPPOSED TO START
The wedding finally started at 6pm in Jamaica, meanwhile, over in Bayside, the food for the reception was being put out. Not a good look.

6. JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE A CERTAIN TYPE OF FOOD DOESN'T MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WILL LIKE IT.
Granted, I like Thai food, but everyone can't get with it.

7. DON'T PLAY ALL OF THE BLACK LINE DANCE SONGS TOGETHER
For some people, the only time they are going to get on the dancefloor is when they play the Electric Slide, Cha-Cha Slide, Mississippi Slide, Bootycall and Cupid Shuffle. Spread them out.

8. IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE WHO CAN'T/DOESN'T LIKE TO DANCE, MAKE SURE YOUR FIRST DANCE IS TO SOMETHING R E A L L Y S L O W

8a. IF YOU AND THE PERSON YOU MARRY DON'T HAVE A "SONG", DON'T LET THE DJ PICK THE SONG THAT YOU DANCE TO

9. DO NOT LET ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO GIVE A TOAST DRINK UNTIL AFTER THEY GIVE THEIR TOAST.
If you know certain people can't hold alcohol, don't give them any. You never know what will be said when they.

10. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE YOUR RECEPTION AT A RESTAURANT, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SECURITY AT THE DOOR SO THAT NOBODY WHO WASN'T INVITED CAN SHOW UP AND CRASH.
Remember, it is a restaurant. They don't know the restaurant is closed for a private event so you are going to need someone at the door to let them know . . . especially before the get in line at the buffet.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: November 5, 2009

1. The past is the past, leave it there.

2. You don't know me from Adam, but yet you'll spill your guts to me. What's up with that?

3. Don't be discouraged. You're better than that.

4. Name it, then claim it.

5. Uninvited guests get treated like uninvited guests.

6. Yes, we haven't spoken in 14 years. That doesn't mean I want to talk to you every day now.

7. Don't try to keep somebody in your life for a lifetime, if they were only intended to be there for a season.

8. The way I treat you should tell you a lot about how I feel about you.

9. I will take your advice and enjoy my life. You do the same

10. I don't just want to be an option, I want to be THE option.

11. It's a damn shame that your costume is better than your child's costume.

12. You need to concern yourself with your marriage instead of living out fantasies.

13. The first amendment gives you the right to say it, now what protects me from having to be subjected to it?

14. If you wear a loose fitting shirt with no bra, bend at the knees, not the waist (although, I did enjoy the view, I'm sure you didn't want me to see what I saw).

Homecoming

I used to think that homecoming at a Historically Black College or University was the best homecoming there was. I have gone to at least one HBCU homecoming each year since 1995. The bands, the tailgating, the step shows, the parties, there is nothing like it. I still love HBCU homecoming's but my entire perception of the entire meaning of homecoming changed yesterday afternoon. I was talking to my cousin (or should I say, she was talking at me, but that's an entirely different story for another post . . . maybe) and she was telling me that after a year of searching, she is about to go to closing on a house. As luck would have it, the house that she is buying, is her grandmother's (my aunt's) old house. The house that both her and I grew up in. Later this month she will be moving in and this Thanksgiving, we will be having Thanksgiving dinner in "the house" for the first time since 1990. That's what I call a homecoming.

Friday Fill-Ins: October 30, 2009

And...here we go!

1. It was a dark and stormy night, when I had one of the wildest nights of my life.

2. I wanted to be a gentleman, so I offered to take the books myself.

3. Rushing out, I forgot to get her number because her man was pulling up.

4. When she came...I think I heard a howl!

5. Shhhh... break it down. I don't want nobody else to hear the sound.

6. Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, and Sunday, I want to watch football all day, but I have a funeral to go to.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: October 29, 2009

1. If our first communication of the day begins after 10pm, someone better be dead, in jail, in the hopsital or you better be making a booty call.

2. If you consent to having a train run on you, don't go yelling rape when its over.
2a. Especially if the consent was recorded.
2b. Defamation of character is a serious charge.

3. If it wasn't important enough for you to leave a message, its not important enough for me to call you back.

4. If I can only have you in my dreams then let me sleep forever.

5. I know you thought you were doing me a favor, but you didn't help me one bit.

6. You weren't complaining when you were fucking him in the Taco Bell parking lot. Don't complain now.

7. I would love to be in the business of your pleasure.

8. Why would you schedule patients at 9am when you know you don't come in until 10am?

9. If you took care of your man the way you take care of your farm you wouldn't be in the situation you're in now.

10. You need to follow the advice you put up on your facebook status's

11. Your logic doesn't make sense to me.

12. Flirting is a natural human instinct.

13. I think I am going to get you all a copy of Roberts Rule's of Order for Christmas.

14. I'm looking forward to your big day, which I hope will be followed by my big day.

15. This isn't going anywhere, so I'm going to end it before it gets too serious.

16. If it wasn't the Phillies, I'd enjoy this.

17. You were good before, and you keep getting better.

TMI Tuesday: October 27, 2009

1) What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

1. Send text messages/make phone calls without excusing herself (especially if its not to a babysitter).

2. Not understanding/appreciating chivalry

3. Not be able to maintain a conversation.

2) Pick an animal that best displays your personality. :)

A chameleon

3) If your so stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?

Depends on the reasons for her to stop, but I don't think I'd stay more than a few months.

4) Are you more passive or aggressive when the relationship becomes physical?

Passive in the beginning, then aggressive.

5) Have you ever been INSIDE a store that sold adult themed toys and videos?

Yes. Several times. Actually purchased stuff too.

Bonus (as in optional): What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

I think that about 20-25% of women out there can handle a friends with benifits situation, but I think about 80-85% of men could handle it.

Insecurity: Who's Problem Is It?

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of meeting my best friends boyfriend (who has since taken that step and is now her fiance). It was sort of planned, but it was more me hanging out with my best friend who I haven't seen in months. I spoke to my best friend earlier today and she asked me if I felt strange when I met her fiance'. I told her I didn't, but I noticed that he did. She confirmed my thoughts and told me that he didn't feel comfortable with the initial meeting. She told me that he felt as if I ignored him and was more interested in talking to her. Then he accused us of having a past. I have known my best friend for over 9 years and we have not even come close to being romantically interested in each other, but every time one of us gets into a relationship we have to go through the accusations. Why is it that the majority of the people out there don't think that men and woman can be just friends. Better yet, why is it that people don't feel comfortable if their significant other has a member of the opposite sex as a close friend? I don't get it and I doubt I ever will.