PERSONIFICATION OF CRAZY

Wedding Highlights

2009-11-07T12:52:00.002-05:00

I have accepted the fact that there will not be a wedding that goes off as planned. Each one has their own quirks that make the day even more memorable than ever. The wedding I went to yesterday, was no exception. Below, you'll find my observations from yesterdays festivities.:

1. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING AN USHER
The wedding was at the church, but not in the sanctuary. Instead it was in the chapel, which is off in a hard to reach area of the church. If 90% of the people you invite aren't members of the church you might want to invest in someone who can lead the guests in the right direction

2. MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS PICKED UP PRIOR TO THE REHEARSAL DINNER
The last thing you want to do on the day of your weding is to have to worry about picking up your wedding dress.

3. MAKE SURE SOMEBODY KNOWS WHAT TIME YOU REALLY WANT TO START THE WEDDING
This has nothing to do with the bride being fashionably late. The invitation said the wedding would start at 4:30pm. The programs said the wedding would start at 5pm. Even the wedding coordinators didn't know which was the right time.

4. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING FASHIONABLY LATE AND BEING ON C.P. TIME
Regardless of whether the wedding was supposed to start at 4:30pm or 5pm, showing up at 5:45 is not a good look

5. START THE WEDDING BEFORE THE TIME THAT THE RECEPTION IS SUPPOSED TO START
The wedding finally started at 6pm in Jamaica, meanwhile, over in Bayside, the food for the reception was being put out. Not a good look.

6. JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE A CERTAIN TYPE OF FOOD DOESN'T MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WILL LIKE IT.
Granted, I like Thai food, but everyone can't get with it.

7. DON'T PLAY ALL OF THE BLACK LINE DANCE SONGS TOGETHER
For some people, the only time they are going to get on the dancefloor is when they play the Electric Slide, Cha-Cha Slide, Mississippi Slide, Bootycall and Cupid Shuffle. Spread them out.

8. IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE WHO CAN'T/DOESN'T LIKE TO DANCE, MAKE SURE YOUR FIRST DANCE IS TO SOMETHING R E A L L Y S L O W

8a. IF YOU AND THE PERSON YOU MARRY DON'T HAVE A "SONG", DON'T LET THE DJ PICK THE SONG THAT YOU DANCE TO

9. DO NOT LET ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO GIVE A TOAST DRINK UNTIL AFTER THEY GIVE THEIR TOAST.
If you know certain people can't hold alcohol, don't give them any. You never know what will be said when they.

10. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE YOUR RECEPTION AT A RESTAURANT, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SECURITY AT THE DOOR SO THAT NOBODY WHO WASN'T INVITED CAN SHOW UP AND CRASH.
Remember, it is a restaurant. They don't know the restaurant is closed for a private event so you are going to need someone at the door to let them know . . . especially before the get in line at the buffet.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: November 5, 2009

2009-11-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

1. The past is the past, leave it there.

2. You don't know me from Adam, but yet you'll spill your guts to me. What's up with that?

3. Don't be discouraged. You're better than that.

4. Name it, then claim it.

5. Uninvited guests get treated like uninvited guests.

6. Yes, we haven't spoken in 14 years. That doesn't mean I want to talk to you every day now.

7. Don't try to keep somebody in your life for a lifetime, if they were only intended to be there for a season.

8. The way I treat you should tell you a lot about how I feel about you.

9. I will take your advice and enjoy my life. You do the same

10. I don't just want to be an option, I want to be THE option.

11. It's a damn shame that your costume is better than your child's costume.

12. You need to concern yourself with your marriage instead of living out fantasies.

13. The first amendment gives you the right to say it, now what protects me from having to be subjected to it?

14. If you wear a loose fitting shirt with no bra, bend at the knees, not the waist (although, I did enjoy the view, I'm sure you didn't want me to see what I saw).

Homecoming

2009-11-02T17:06:00.002-05:00

I used to think that homecoming at a Historically Black College or University was the best homecoming there was. I have gone to at least one HBCU homecoming each year since 1995. The bands, the tailgating, the step shows, the parties, there is nothing like it. I still love HBCU homecoming's but my entire perception of the entire meaning of homecoming changed yesterday afternoon. I was talking to my cousin (or should I say, she was talking at me, but that's an entirely different story for another post . . . maybe) and she was telling me that after a year of searching, she is about to go to closing on a house. As luck would have it, the house that she is buying, is her grandmother's (my aunt's) old house. The house that both her and I grew up in. Later this month she will be moving in and this Thanksgiving, we will be having Thanksgiving dinner in "the house" for the first time since 1990. That's what I call a homecoming.

Friday Fill-Ins: October 30, 2009

2009-10-30T16:44:00.002-04:00

And...here we go!

1. It was a dark and stormy night, when I had one of the wildest nights of my life.

2. I wanted to be a gentleman, so I offered to take the books myself.

3. Rushing out, I forgot to get her number because her man was pulling up.

4. When she came...I think I heard a howl!

5. Shhhh... break it down. I don't want nobody else to hear the sound.

6. Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to sleeping, tomorrow my plans include the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, and Sunday, I want to watch football all day, but I have a funeral to go to.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: October 29, 2009

2009-10-29T00:01:00.001-04:00

1. If our first communication of the day begins after 10pm, someone better be dead, in jail, in the hopsital or you better be making a booty call.

2. If you consent to having a train run on you, don't go yelling rape when its over.
2a. Especially if the consent was recorded.
2b. Defamation of character is a serious charge.

3. If it wasn't important enough for you to leave a message, its not important enough for me to call you back.

4. If I can only have you in my dreams then let me sleep forever.

5. I know you thought you were doing me a favor, but you didn't help me one bit.

6. You weren't complaining when you were fucking him in the Taco Bell parking lot. Don't complain now.

7. I would love to be in the business of your pleasure.

8. Why would you schedule patients at 9am when you know you don't come in until 10am?

9. If you took care of your man the way you take care of your farm you wouldn't be in the situation you're in now.

10. You need to follow the advice you put up on your facebook status's

11. Your logic doesn't make sense to me.

12. Flirting is a natural human instinct.

13. I think I am going to get you all a copy of Roberts Rule's of Order for Christmas.

14. I'm looking forward to your big day, which I hope will be followed by my big day.

15. This isn't going anywhere, so I'm going to end it before it gets too serious.

16. If it wasn't the Phillies, I'd enjoy this.

17. You were good before, and you keep getting better.

TMI Tuesday: October 27, 2009

2009-10-27T19:19:00.004-04:00

1) What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

1. Send text messages/make phone calls without excusing herself (especially if its not to a babysitter).

2. Not understanding/appreciating chivalry

3. Not be able to maintain a conversation.

2) Pick an animal that best displays your personality. :)

A chameleon

3) If your so stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?

Depends on the reasons for her to stop, but I don't think I'd stay more than a few months.

4) Are you more passive or aggressive when the relationship becomes physical?

Passive in the beginning, then aggressive.

5) Have you ever been INSIDE a store that sold adult themed toys and videos?

Yes. Several times. Actually purchased stuff too.

Bonus (as in optional): What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

I think that about 20-25% of women out there can handle a friends with benifits situation, but I think about 80-85% of men could handle it.

Insecurity: Who's Problem Is It?

2009-10-24T14:51:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of meeting my best friends boyfriend (who has since taken that step and is now her fiance). It was sort of planned, but it was more me hanging out with my best friend who I haven't seen in months. I spoke to my best friend earlier today and she asked me if I felt strange when I met her fiance'. I told her I didn't, but I noticed that he did. She confirmed my thoughts and told me that he didn't feel comfortable with the initial meeting. She told me that he felt as if I ignored him and was more interested in talking to her. Then he accused us of having a past. I have known my best friend for over 9 years and we have not even come close to being romantically interested in each other, but every time one of us gets into a relationship we have to go through the accusations. Why is it that the majority of the people out there don't think that men and woman can be just friends. Better yet, why is it that people don't feel comfortable if their significant other has a member of the opposite sex as a close friend? I don't get it and I doubt I ever will.

Friday Fill-Ins: October 23, 2009

2009-10-23T18:48:00.002-04:00

1. The crickets sing way to loud at night.

2. I want to be wherever you are.

3. I want to get far away from the problems that I have right now.

4. Waking up next to her is too good to be true; this was a dream.

5. But as for me, I'll continue to be the best ME I could be.

6. Brooklyn, New York is where I come from.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward toa quiet evening, tomorrow my plans include watching sports all day (unless the Angels game gets rained out, in which I'll watch a movie)and Sunday, I want to do the same thing I want to do every other day of the week, but I'll probably just go to church, then come home and watch football for the rest of the night!

Dream TV - October 22, 2009

2009-10-22T10:02:00.003-04:00

Those of you who follow me on facebook already know that I had a crazy dream last night. I was back at my alma mater. I was the dean of a pledge line for a fraternity and one of my ex-girlfriends was there with me. Apparently it was the night they crossed over because they were stepping all over the yard. I was posted up on the wall making out with my ex when out of the corner of my eye I noticed another friend of mine from high school who was walking across campus and giving me the eye. I couldn't tell if it was the "you should be ashamed of yourself eye" or the "I wish that was me" eye. Of course, I woke up before I could figure out which one it was.

Strength In Numbers

2009-10-21T21:55:00.002-04:00

Usually, when I'm alone on the train I like to stay that way. Especially when I have my iPod with me. So when this young man tapped me on the shoulder I was a bit aggitated; at least at first. As it turned out, I actually felt good after talking to him.

I was on the E train on my way home from an interview this afternoon so I had on the power suit and power tie. The guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me where I worked. I was honest with him and told him I wasn't working right now. He apologized and said that he asked because he saw me wearing a suit and was hoping I could help him out since he was in the process of looking for a job himself. He said that he was hitting the pavement going from store to store putting his resume out. He told me that he was only 21 and was a barber, but wanted something more steady. I gave him some pointers and introduced him to the Workforce One branch in Jamaica. He was very appreciative.

After he got off the train I went back to listening to my iPod, but I thought about this guy. He's 21 and he seems to have his head on straight. He knows what he wants and knows what he's capable of. I wish him luck in his search and hope that he knows that he doesn't have to do it alone. This economy is tough on everyone, but together, we can all survive in it.

TMI Tuesday #209:

2009-10-20T11:13:00.003-04:00

1. Which ONE do you wish you had more of in bed... romance, experimentation or foreplay?

Foreplay

2. What is your worst habit?

Sadly, there are so many to choose from. I guess the worst would be procrastination.

3. Do you take compliments well?

No. I get humbled easily. I appreciate the compliment, but if you ever want to see a black man blush . . .

4. Do you think more about the past, present or future?

Lately, I've been thinking about the past more than anything else. Trying to make sure I get all of the lessons that it has to teach me so that I don't repeat it.

5. Do you feel everyone has a soulmate?

Yes, but I don't think that everyone ends up with their soulmate.

Bonus (as in optional): "Where Would You Wish To Wake Up?"

Next to blog crush #2

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: September 17, 2009

2009-09-17T00:24:00.000-04:00

1. That's a family trip so why would you expect him to cater to just you?

2. Since you are my biggest cheerlearder, when do I get to see you in your cheerleader uniform? ;-)

3. This was one of the best days I've had in a long time, you are not going to bring me down with your attitude.

4. Why is it that the person with the furthest to go is usually the first one to show up.

5. I understand the party was at your apartment, but why would you wear a dress that you can't even sit down in.

6. I've been this way for 31 years, so good, bad or otherwise, I'm probably going to be this way for the next 31 years as well.

7. This is a sign that there is a side of you that still hasn't be fully explored.

8. This is a trend that I hope doesn't continue.

9. Asking a woman that you're dating to go to a strip club with you as a second date is NOT a good look.

10. This just isn't working for me.

11. It's amazing how small this world is.

12. When you fuck with my money, it becomes personal.

13. Don't ask questions you really don't want to hear that answers to.

14. Considering the circumstances, I'm not supposed to like you.

15. Unless the invitation specifically says you can bring someone, don't bring anyone.

16. So I am getting punished for telling the truth.

17. If you knew you couldn't handle the answer, why did you ask the question?

18. You are so wishy-washy.

19. If I didn't know you that well, I'd think you didn't enjoy spending time with your wife.

20. You do realize its Wednesday night, right. Some of us have to get up in the morning.

TMI Tuesday #204:

2009-09-15T17:42:00.003-04:00

1. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the without anything steamy happening? (Opposite sex for breeders, same sex for homosexuals).

Unfortunately . . . a few times . . . and with a few different people. :-(

2. Have you eve streaked, flashed, or otherwise partially or totally exposed yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people?

Yeah. The second woman I'd ever had a crush on was visiting New York from Georgia and wanted to see me. I had already planned to go to happy hour with a bunch of friends so I told her to meet me there. We hung out and had fun, but when the group left the bar, neither my friend or I wanted to go back to Queens so we took a walk. Ended up in Central Park. While sitting on a bench, out of nowhere, she asked to see my dick. After a few minutes I realized she was serious and I gave in.

3. Have you had dates with multiple people in the same weekend (or consecutive nights or the same night) while not all of your dates were aware of your actions?

Yes.

4. What is the most "romantic" you have ever gotten in a movie theater?

I'm received a blowjob in a movie theatre before.

5. Have you ever had sex when you knew a non-participating adult was watching?

Not yet, but I wouldn't be against the idea.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: September 10, 2009

2009-09-10T09:50:00.000-04:00

1. Just because I make a mistake does not mean I'm overwhelmed.

2. If I don't respond to a text after 6 hours, don't send me another one.
2a. If it was important, you could have called.

3. If hospitals are supposed to help people feel better and promote healthy lifestyles, why are there soda machines and candy machines all over the place?

4. You are doing all the right things, but for all the wrong reasons.

5. If you are generalizing, you need to say so. If you are being inclusive, then we have a problem.

6. You are in your 30's. Don't you think its time to change your priorities?
6a. Of course, if you're comfortable party hopping and getting fucked by a guy who is fucking (at least) two other people that you know of, then who am I to tell you otherwise.

7. Sometimes, its not them, its you.

8. For what its worth, it took me four days to miss you.

9. Do I have the words "tech support" written across my forehead.

10. Your selfishness is turning this into a one-sided friendship.

11. You make no sense. You are planning for something in the distant future when your present situation doesn't justify it. Hope you can get a refund . . . just in case.

What Would You Do Wednesday: Case of the Ex

2009-09-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, its Labor Day weekend. You are looking forward to your mother's Labor Day cookout. It's a chance to get out, be around family and for the first time since your relationship ended in dramatic fashion a few weeks ago, have a chance to meet some new people. Because your car is jacked up and you can't make the 70 mile trip from your house to your mom's house, you ask her to come and pick you up the night before. When you ask her, she tell you that she invited your ex and you can just ride down with them. You tell her that you aren't comfortable with that because of the way you broke up and the fact that your ex is the last person you want to see this weekend. She apologizes, but says its too late to come and get you and it would be wrong to univite your ex. How do you handle the situation?

TMI Tuesday #203:

2009-09-08T12:22:00.003-04:00

1) If you were to only live until the age of 50, how would you live your life differently?

Wow. Who's to say that I'm going to live that long anyway? If I was assured not to make it, I'd probably not worry so much about saving money and I'd probably take a lot more chances than I already do. I would definitely try to handle things on my "bucket list" a whole lot sooner and make sure that on May 28, 2028, I can die with a smile on my face.

2) Are you settling in your job/career?

Not at all. I've had a few jobs, but I have yet to find that position/company that I think I can retire with.

3) Are you settling with your significant other?

Are we ever settled? At the same time, are we always fortunate enough to get the one we want? If I'm intent on getting the person I want, then the fact that I'm not with her (yet) would imply that I'm settling with anyone else I'm with.

4) How important is your family?

That's a touchy subject with me right now. You'd like to think that its very important, but you don't get to choose your family. At the same time, you are supposed to be loyal to your family because they will ALWAYS be your family.

5) If you caught a neighbor peeping in at you while you were naked or having sex, would you close the blinds? (assuming you live in a city and can see into other buildings).

Nope. I'm probably let them know what time the next show begins and tell them to pull up a chair next time.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: September 3, 2009

2009-09-03T14:17:00.001-04:00

I wanted to use this post for my tribute to Anika Harris, but I still haven't be able to formulate the words just yet. It'll come to me soon. Until then, here are my usual weekly rants, which just don't mean as much as they did when I originally wrote them (except for #9).

1. You just don't get it, do you?

2. Last time I checked, I wasn't your man, so don't get mad at me if I don't respond to a text message you send me at 12:46 in the morning.

3. Distance is a motherfucker sometimes.

4. If you felt he needed to know that before you went any further, don't be mad if he doesn't want to go any further because of what you told him. Respect his decision.

5. I'm convinced that anyone who wants to have sex can find someone to have sex with. You are starting to make me have second thoughts about that.

6. You can't jump from high school to the pros without stepping up your game.

7. You may not see it as that right now, but he's doing you a favor.

8. You couldn't go one day, could you?

9. I never had the pleasure of meeting you in person, but you have left footprints in my mind and I will carry your memory with me forever.

10. This last minute shit is for the birds.

11. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

12. If I knew we would be exchanging favors, THESE would not be the favors I'd want us to exchange.

13. Sign the damn contract already, rookie.

14. A simple thank you would have been enough.

15. Life is too short for you to be so damn negative.

TMI Tuesday #202: Location, Location, Location

2009-09-01T20:12:00.003-04:00

1. If you could have monumental sex where would it be (i.e. on Lincoln's lap, the stairwell of the Statute of Liberty)?

On top of one of the pyramids at Chitzen Itza in Mexico.

2. Have you ever "played" with your food (i.e. a blowjob under booth #9 at Denny's, finger banging by candlelight at Spago)?

Not yet, but hopefully I'll have the opportunity one of these days. The closest has been the time I got head in the back of Sequoia's one night.

3. Have you ever had sex in motion (i.e. the lavatory on Virgin Air, the back seat of your Chevy Suburban)?

Not yet. I don't know about joining the Mile High Club anymore. Something about the opening scenes of "Soul Plane" that make me not want to even go into an airplanes bathroom. The closest I've come so far is sucking on a woman's breasts in the back of the #1 train as it goes through the South Ferry Station back when the last five cars of the train didn't open there. I would love to get a blowjob on the J train as it slowly creeps across the Williamsburg Bridge or on the A train as it goes out towards Far Rockaway. Other than that, I'm not sure if I could even handle the motion.

4. Have you ever had sex worthy of a confessional (i.e. a stall in the church bathroom, on the desk in your boss's office)?

Yes, but I'm not confessing it here. Some things don't need to be shared . . . not even with the blogosphere.

5. Have you ever had sex under the stars (i.e. in the alley behind Scores Gentleman's Club, the roof of your South Beach condo)?

Yes. Twice. The first time was in North Carolina in the back of a pickup truck one night. The second time was on the balcony of my hotel room at the Gran Melia in Cancun.

Bonus: What's your favorite place (of all places) to have sex (i.e. The Bunny Ranch, Las Vegas)?

I don't know. I'm more interested in the person than the location. No place has really been to memorable yet. Still looking for that special person to make those kind of memories with. One thing I would love to do is have sex behind a waterfall. That would be nice.

The Living Dead

2009-08-30T23:37:00.002-04:00

Updated: Monday, August 31, 2009 @ 11:20am

This post was written before I heard about the untimely passing of fellow blogger Nikki Harris. Although I never had the pleasure of meeting Nikki in person, we had many phone and IM conversations that I will cherish forever. She was an inspiration and blessing to all that came in contact with her and I'm sure we can all agree that we are better for knowing her. May she rest in peace and her memory live on forever.

In the book of Revelations, John writes a letter to the Church in Sardis. In the letter he tells them that they think they are alive, but informs them that they are not. Reminds them that just because they did something in the past, doesn't mean it will carry them into the future. He lets them know that they still have work to do and if they don't wake up, bad things are going to happen. As I read the letter, I was thinking to myself, it would be nice if this letter could be modified to fit today's time and sent to some of the people in my life.

"Dear so and so,

I know that you did x, y, and z and are a member of such and such organization, but what you've done in the past won't mean a thing if you don't continue to do it. When the time comes your life will be measured not just by what you did in a certain period, but what you did your entire life. Like Aristotle once said, 'excellence is not a singular act, you are what you continue to be'. Be mindful of how you've lived your life, how you're living your life and how you'll live your life. Do not become one of the living dead walking around in the world. Make your life count every day, not just today.

Sincerely,

Organized Noise"

Too many people like to live on past accomplishments and feel like they only have to succeed once in order to say that their life was meaningful. If it worked like that I'm sure we'd all be in a good position right now. Unfortunately for most, it doesn't go that way. Ecclesiastes 9:10-11 says it best; "The race is not to the swift, or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all".

I'm no expert on life now, but I'm convinced that there are at least three ways you can assure that you continue to live life and not just go through the motions. Remember where you came from, bring someone else up, and do something meaningful every day. There's a pretty good chance that you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth, and unless you brought a lottery ticket from Fordham Road in the Bronx recently, you worked hard to get to where you are. Unfortunately, most people forget where they were. They block out there past and act like it didn't happen. Instead, they should learn from it. Use your past to inspire you to be successful and motivate you not to return there. Don't take your current accomplishments for granted and remember you are always one second from having everything you've earned taken away from you. Be proud of what you've done and what you are doing then focus on being even more successful in the future.

As you strive to be successful, also be reminded that success is not just measured by how well you did, but also by how much you've helped others. You didn't get where you are all by yourself and because of that you should do the same for someone else that somebody did for you. At one point in our lives, I'm sure each and every one of us looked up to somebody, whether it be that man who stepped in and spent time with you, or that teacher/coach who spent extra time with you. They didn't have to do it, but they did. Return the favor to them by doing the same for someone else. Be a mentor, donate to a charity, volunteer your time to a cause. Make it easier for somebody who's following in your footsteps because somebody did the same thing for you. Like the old saying goes, each one, teach one.

As we all know by now, life is not short and tomorrow is not promised to us. As much as we'd like to think we're invincible, we aren't. That being the case, we should start measuring our lives differently. Stop counting in years and make each day count by counting each day as a lifetime, then make something happen each day. And if you happen to live for 25,000 days, imagine how much you would have accomplished with your life and how fulfilling your life would be. If you did that, I assure you nobody would accuse you of being part of the living dead.

I know there are more ways to stay apart of the group of people who are living life and not walking among the living dead, and whatever you do to make your life mean something, make sure you do it to the fullest. Life is a precious gift and you only get one. Go out and make the most of it. Remember, time is one of the few assets that we cannot get more of. Once a second passes, you can't get it back. Make sure you make every second that you're given count.

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: August 27, 2009

2009-08-27T01:18:00.000-04:00

1. You can't find a man because you keep referring to them as boys.

2. I don't know much about parenting, but I'm pretty sure that rewarding a child after misbehaving is no kind of punishment.

2a. If you break every time you see a tear in your child's eye, the next 10 years are going to be long.

3. Today, in the era of call logs, caller ID and voicemail, you don't have to tell me you called me. I already know it.

4. To quote the great philosopher, "The Rock", "know your damn role, and shut your damn mouth."

5. When a woman wants to give you something, let her.

6. To improve your chances of winning the war, you might have to lose a battle or two.

7. The reward makes the struggle worth it.

8. Read your script and stick to your lines. No ad libbing here.

9. I'm doing you a favor, the least you could do is say thank you.

10. Whatever happened to the seperation of church and state?

11. Funerals are so much easier to deal with if you don't know the deseased.

12. I'm sure our paths will cross again sowhere down the road, but I am glad you realized that today was not the day.

13. I don't care how good the sandwich was, I refuse to come back to this store again.

14. You inspired me and I didn't even have the pleasure of meeting you.

15. I heard you the first time you told me. You don't have to repeat it every five minutes.

16. You need to know when to turn it off.

17. If you had said the word, we both know I would have been there.

18. How bad do things have to get in your life before you start to turn things around?

19. You can't tease me like that then disappear.

20. You heard the man, now what are you going to do about it.

Blame It On Me

2009-08-26T01:08:00.000-04:00

I'll be the first to admit that with the state of today's music, I don't listen to the ready that much anymore. If there's a new hot song out, I usually hear about it from one of my music junkie friends. One song that has really caught my attention this year is Chrisette Michelle's "Blame It On Me" I'm sure that by now all of you have heard it all by now, but how many of you have actually paid attention to the lyrics? In case you haven't, here they are:

Sometimes you can work it out
sometimes you can’t
Sometimes you’re forced to watch everything fall apart
its out of your hands

Sometimes leaving is easy . . . sometimes it ain’t
Sometimes it hurts to know the lovin’ you had is slowly fading away

You can say whatever you like
As long as we just say goodbye

(chorus)
Blame it on me
Say it’s my fault
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart

I really don’t care…I ain’t cryin’ no more
Say I’m a liar, a cheater say anything that you want
As long as it’s over

I ain’t a quitter…I just ain’t the type

I tried to see it through
I tried to make it to the finishing line

Oohh you thought it was meant to be
I admit…so did I

Every once in a while you think you figured it out...
Sometimes you’re not right

You can say what ever you like
As long as we just say good bye

Blame it on me
Say it’s my fault
Say that I left you outside in the cold with a broken heart

I really don’t care…I ain’t cryin’ no more
Say I’m a liar, a cheater, say anything that you want
As long as it’s over

Yes I love you but I really gotta lose you… freedoms where I want to be
Yes I’ll probably always love you but I’m over…I gotta do this for me

(repeat chorus twice)

Cause its over

I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't say that I have left a relationship so happy to get out of it that I didn't care what reason she gave for us breaking up. Even in my worst breakup, I don't think I felt that bad about it. Nobody likes to be accused or caught cheating, but for Chrisette to write the line "I really don’t care…I ain’t cryin’ no more. Say I’m a liar, a cheater, say anything that you want. As long as it’s over" gives you the impression that this particular breakup was very liberating for her.

My worst emotional breakup was last year with "Guyana". It was very public and got way too many people involved. Then again, if I had done things for me instead of what other people wanted me to do, we might not have even been engaged in the first place. My worst mental breakup was with "Purpose" because that was my first love. I took that one real hard and it took me a long time to get over her.

Do you (choose to) remember your worst break up? What was the quickest you've gotten over someone? What was the longest time it took you to get over with? Has a break up ever taken a physical, mental or emotional toll on you? Are you usually the one ending the relationship or the one getting dumped? Feel free to share in the comment section.

TMI Tuesday #201:

2009-08-25T09:31:00.003-04:00

1. Do you have "your" side of the bed? Which side?

Yes, I do, but its a little more complicated than just left or right. It all depends on where the bed is set up in the room. I sleep on my side and like to be facing the door, but on the side of the bed furthest away from the door.

2. How old is your pillow and what condition is it in?

I have four pillows on my bed, the oldest is about 4 years old. I try to replace one every year, but I haven't been able to find a nice firm pillow in a long time. Might have to invest in one of those pillows I see advertised on the infomercials.

3. What is your favorite position to sleep in?

Cuddled up with a beautiful woman. If that's not the case, then I usually sleep in a modified fetal position. It started when I went to college because the beds weren't long enough. It sort of stuck after I graduated.

4. How often do you change your sheets?

Every week

5. What helps you fall asleep when insomnia strikes?

Music. It relaxes me, calms me down and mellows me out.

6. Does sex make you sleepy or energized?

Sleepy. After getting all hot and sweaty, all I want (besides doing it again) is a nice shower and a nap. That is definitely one way to assure I go to sleep with a smile on my face.

7. What is the minimum amount of sleep that you need to be functional the next day.

I say four hours. On rare occasions three, but I don't make a habit of it.

Bonus (as in optional):Describe your most vivid dream.

A few weeks ago I had a dream that a friend of mine (who I happen to be physically and mentally attracted to) and I were co-workers and she turned out to be my secret admirer. One day she left a pair of black lace panties on my desk with a note asking me to meet her one night. I woke up the next morning and started looking for my overnight bag. If that's not a vivid dream, I don't know what is.

In Memorium (A Tribute To Real Love)

2009-08-24T00:31:00.000-04:00

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

In Memorium

Alfred Lord Tennison - 1850

Is it truly better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? That question has been asked for almost 200 years, ever since Alfred Lord Tennyson first stated it in his poem, In Memorium back in 1850. I have had my opinion on the matter for some time now, but yesterday, I pondered that question from an entirely different perspective. Up until today, I have always assumed the "lost" aspect of that question always referred to relationships gone bad; affairs, breakups, or divorces - something like what my cousin is going through right now. Today, I was reminded of there is a flipside of the "lost" aspect of Tennyson's quote.

Seven years ago, a friend of mine started dating a women, who he would grow to love (after she played hard to get for a while). Three years ago, he married her. Yesterday, he buried her, a woman he referred to as his best friend. Most 32 year olds usually concern themselves with thinking about burying a parent. Not many of them think about burying, let alone have to bury their spouse. His wife was diagnosed with sickle cell disease when she was 6 months old. According to her obituary, "if they gave frequent flyer miles for hospital stays, she would have been able to travel around the world a few times. Although she was born with a debilitating disease, she never let it stop her." Although, her condition only gave her a life expectancy of fourty-eight years she never treated herself as a charity case. Most times, she was helping others when they were trying to be there for her. And if the turnout at her funeral was any indication, she touched a lot of people, because it was standing room only.

Tonight, and every night from now on, my friend is going to go to sleep knowing the love of his life is not laying there next to him. As the service went on, I wondered to myself, if he knew then, what he knows now, would he still pursue her and marry her? Knowing that she was only going to be in his life for 7 years, would he go back and change anything. Is being in love for a short period of time better than not being in love at all. My opinion on the matter hasn't changed, but I'd love to hear what your opinion on the matter is. Is it truly better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Tell'em How You Feel Thursday: August 20, 2009

2009-08-20T09:33:00.000-04:00

1. How are you going to rob a bank only to get caught outside the bank waiting for the bus?

2. That's just selfish.

3. If that's your only reason for not accepting, I'm cool with that. . . for now.

4. Thank you, can I have another?

5. You can keep the stall gifts coming, but ultimately, you are still going to have to deal with me.

6. Three years without seeing your mother is not a good look.

7. Questions like that make me start to reevaluate some things.

8. Sometimes, its just better to sit back and enjoy the ride. You can't know everything ahead of time.

9. It may not be any of my business, but you need to get into the business of punishing your child. You continue to spoil your child and its going to be a long 10 years.

TMI Tuesday #200:

2009-08-18T08:29:00.000-04:00

1. What is the longest you have been in a monogamous sexual relationship? [For the purpose of this question monogamous is defined as no sexual partners that your significant other does (did) not know about.]

Nine months

2. If your current relationship would fail, do you have a back-up for physical or emotional comfort?

I was watching one of Chris Rock's comedy specials yesterday. In one of his jokes he said people have two people in their life; the person their fucking and the person they should be fucking. I'll take it one step further. I think everyone in their life has the person their fucking, the person/people they can fuck, the person/people they want to fuck and the person/people they used to fuck. (Refer back to the Playa v/s Pimpstress posts I did last week)

3. Can you be "just friends" with someone when there is an unrequited sexual attraction?

Yes, and in one particular case, the person is one of my closest friends. Like I often tell her, sometimes in looking for what you want, you get what you need. I cherish and appreciate her friendship . . . but if she ever says the word, IT'S ON. I know it, and I'm sure she knows it.

4. In a assumed monogamous sexual relationship have you ever cheated, been cheated upon or been a knowing third party to the infidelity? [For the purpose of this question monogamous is defined as no sexual partners that a significant other does (did) not know about.]

When I was dealing with "Aye Papi" I was a knowing (and willing) third party to infidelity. All of the benifits of a relationship with none of the drama.

5. Historically, what has caused the most arguments in your relationships?

In the past, it had a lot to do with me holding back and not always speaking my mind.

Bonus (as in optional):What do you want from a partner in a long term relationship?

I want a "CrazySexyCoolHomeyLoverFriend" That's the best way to describe it. A woman who's fun, sponteanous, beautiful, sexy, cool enough to bring around the fellas, who you can go out with, fuck me the way I want to be fucked and at the end of the day be able to have a decent conversation with. I know a few people like that (including the person I was referring to in question #3)